Rosie O'Donnell: He stars in The X-Files
in which he battles killer shadows, giant worms, and monsters that can suck
your face off. This Friday he takes on the criminals of LA in his new movie
Playing God. Please welcome back to the show, newlywed David Duchovny.
[As David enters, theme of The X-Files plays. Audience
cheers and applause.]
RO: Well, hello David.
David Duchovny: Hi Rosie.
RO: How are you?
DD: I'm great.
RO: Great to see ya.
DD: I'm glad to be back home.
RO: And congratulation on the wedding.
DD: I don't wanna tease you, but I have
something to show you here.
RO: What do you got there?
DD: Something about a guy you've been
talking about behind my back. [Shows Rosie a copy of
the Nov. 97 issue of GQ Magazine in which he appears on the cover as one
of the Men of the Year. Also on the cover is Tom Cruise, the subject of intense
fascination by the host.]
RO: Give me that.
DD: Do you want to maybe show that to
people.
RO: No.
DD: Do I have to pry it out of her hands
now?
RO: GQ Men of the Year. My Tommy, Grant
Hill, and David Duchovny.
DD: We had such a great time shooting
this, because we were in actually three separate cities.
RO: Oh, really?
DD: No, we were all together there, but
I never met either one of them.
RO: You didn't?
DD: Don't we seem to get along very well?
RO: You mean you had to stand there and
pretend?
DD: Well, I'm not a big smiler, and the
photographer kept going, "It's gonna be Tom Cruise. He's gonna be doing that."
So look how uncomfortable I am. Look at that. That's me trying to smile.
It's like --.
RO: Let me take a look again.
DD: I'm getting a little pissed off about
this.
RO: Are you? [David
snatches the magazine away from Rosie.]
RO: I'm sorry. You know I've got a special
thing. [Plays a bar from one of the songs in The Who's
Tommy.] He's my guy.
DD: I don't get it. Are there any David
songs? Can you get obsessed with me perhaps? [Rosie
plays two lines from "Davy Crocket" which goes "Davy, Davy Crocket/ King
of the wild frontier."]
RO: That'd be you.
DD: I used to actually sing that song.
RO: Did you?
DD: I had the hat. And do you remember
David and Goliath?
RO: Yes I do. The morning cartoon.
DD: [Imitates
Goliath.] "Davy." Nobody remembers that thing.
RO: I do. Claymation. Remember? On Sunday
morning. [Imitates Goliath too.] "Davy, mom
wouldn't want you to go outside."
DD: [Imitates Goliath
again.] "Davy, mom wouldn't want you to do crack cocaine."
RO: Davy and Goliath in the 90s. Well,
congratulations on being one of the Men of the Year.
DD: Thank you. I don't know exactly what
it means.
RO: It means you're hot and you're happening.
DD: It does. I have my own song. Can
you give it to me one more time?
[Rosie plays "Davy Crocket" again.]
RO: That's you. Can I say one thing?
I'm very disappointed that "The X-Files" premiere isn't on until November
2nd. What is that about?
DD: Well, we did the movie this year.
Normally, we start shooting the show in mid-July, but because we were doing
the movie, we didn't get a chance to start 'til September. As a result, you
have to watch the World Series until November.
RO: I thought maybe they just did that,
because you guys weren't available.
DD: Yeah. It will be just 21 shows this
year instead of 24.
RO: Wow. Will it be the last season like
everybody is saying?
DD: No, I don't think so.
RO: There will be more.
DD: Yeah. Actually, I'm signed for 43
years.
RO: You got a good deal. Nice work there.
DD: Right.
RO: We have the same agent.
DD: That's right.
RO: Now, I was up in Vancouver when you
were doing the pilot. Remember?
DD: Yeah, you were doing "Another Stakeout."
RO: You and I at the Lounge. Having a
couple.
DD: They still have a shrine to you there.
RO: They do. As they should. Many a night
singing at the piano bar.
DD: It's just that seat there.
RO: Remember when I was always in.
DD: But you can sing.
RO: David, I love you for saying that.
It's a lie, but I love you for saying that.
DD: No, I love people who can sing. You
can actually sing.
RO: Well, I enjoy singing.
DD: Well, that comes through. Unfortunately,
we don't so much enjoy the activity of you singing.. No, we do actually.
RO: I thought you were going to say we
don't enjoy listening. You sort of did.
DD: I didn't meant to say it.
RO: That's OK. It's alright. I'm over
it.
DD: You're a lovely singer.
RO: How's your lovely wife, Téa Leoni?
DD: She's great.
RO: Congratulation on that. You're so
secretive. You got away with it. I know I did an interview with a woman,
Mim Udovich, a writer, and she kept saying to me in the interview, "Is anything
happening in your life? Is anything big? Is anything happening in your life?"
And I'm like, "Why?" Because you did an interview with her. Did you look
straight into her eye and lie?
DD: Well, I looked at Barbara Walters
straight in the face and lied, because Barbara Walters said to me -- we were
doing an interview the day I was going to get married -- "Okay, just promise
me you're not going to get married or have children in the next month." I
said, "I promise."
RO: Big liar.
DD: I was a huge liar. I mean, it's hard
to lie to Barbara Walters.
RO: I'm sure it is. I've never done it.
DD: We wore a disguise to go get the
marriage license. You have to wait 24 hours to get married. You can't run
off and get married. It's like buying a gun. You have to have a cooling off
period, so we had to get the license 24 hours before we were going to get
married. I didn't want people to know I was getting married, so I wore --
here, you might want to show that. Master of Disguise.
[David hands Rosie a photograph of both David and Tea.
David is wearing a fake mustache and a hat. Téa with just sunglasses.]
RO: Yeah, you look like Gabe Kaplan.
DD: That's me there.
[Points to Tea.]
RO: That'd be you. Now, why didn't she
have a disguise? She's very recognizable.
DD: She doesn't think she is.
RO: But she is.
DD: She thought she'd do the reverse
psychology. "That looks exactly like Téa Leoni, so it couldn't possibly be
her."
RO: It couldn't possibly be her. Just
another good looking woman going to get married. You have a new movie. We'll
talk about it after this.
[Commercial.]
[After the commercial break, David talks about his
movie Playing God. A clip from the movie was shown as well.]
RO: Now, have you ever had surgery yourself?
DD: Sadly, yes. I hurt my eye playing
basketball. I got poked in the eye. And I had what's called -- you're gonna
laugh. I guarantee you're going to laugh -- a ruptured sphincter.
RO: That's in the eye? I didn't think
it was there. I thought it was in other places.
DD: You have two of them. You have three
actually, because you have two eyes and --
RO: So, you ruptured your sphincter?
DD: It's circular like the other, and
it closes the eye. It controls the pupil. I ruptured mine. I also had a cataract
from the force of the blow. So I had to have my lens replaced. Synthetic
lens put in. So I was put under, but not totally under. You're in this kind
of twilight. There were two doctors, my doctor and another guy. He was talking
to the other doctor like he'd never done the surgery before. It's like, Well,
look at that. "What do you normally do with that." I don't know. I like to
tie in a knot or tie in a bow or whatever. I was half awake, but I was so
happy on the Demorol. I said, "I thought you guys did this before." I thought
it was the funniest thing that they were operating on me. They've never done
it.
[Rosie recalls the time she had knee surgery and swears
Smurfs were coming down from the ceiling. At the end of the interview, Rosie
gives David a Rosie O'Doll which he mentions that the next time she has surgery
she will imagine those coming down from the ceiling. He then plays with the
hair on the doll and restyles it.]
RO: David Duchovny. Go see Playing God.
It opens this Friday. And watch The X-Files on November 2nd.
