From Vicki Gabereau Show, 23 October 1997

Vicki Gabereau Show (Canada)
transcribed by annie from alt.tv.x-files

Here's the transcript (more or less) of DD's visit: First up was a gospel choir which was still singing, when camera pans around. DD is seated at interview counter already. He and VG face one another across counter. He's wearing jeans, green long-sleeved polo shirt over blue t-shirt. VG kind of looks like an older, more refined, version of Rosie O'Donnell, with short hair and trademark heavy-rimmed eye glasses.

(Choir finishes)

VG: Gawd, that was great. Maybe you could just stay for the whole hour. Why aren't there any gospel shows on tv? They'll be back at the end of the show. Right now I think you'd better meet David Duchovny. (sarcastically) He's on this show called the X-Files. Anyway.....

DD: (off camera) I think we're out of time.

VG: No we're not. We're just starting with you son. (laughter. BTW, there is no studio audience. Just crew, various bystanders watching off camera)

VG: Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave.....what happened?

DD: Oooh-kay. First of all the only reason I ever wanted to leave Vancouver was to go be with my wife in LA. In all seriousness. Not that it's anyone's business.

VG: But it's become everybody's business.

DD: Well, I opened my mouth. At some point. I was promoting this movie and somebody asked me about coming down to LA and I opened my mouth and said that. And then what happened was I was on the Conan O'Brien show, and he wanted to do this segment where he wanted to make light of moving the Vancouver. So he had a bear, a Mountie and a hockey player in the audience and they were weeping. So in order to get to that point, I had to say something derogatory about Vancouver. I hadn't even planned it.When we got there, I said something like it rained 400 inches a day.

VG: And? (smiling) What's so incorrect about that?

DD: Well, I don't think it's quite 400 inches, is it?

VG: No (laughing)

DD: What people have lost sight of is that ever since I said that, I don't know if people can see outside (pointing to windows behind VG), but...

VG: Yeah, it's been perfect. (It had been fairly sunny that week)

DD: And I would like to have some credit for that.

VG: You got a lot of credit. But can you imagine if the French got so hysterical everytime someone said their waiters are rude? I mean, really and truly, it is a statement of the obvious. Why do you think you got so much heat for this?

DD: What happened was it was the way in which it was reported. It was reported as a statement and not as part of a joke. And then I'm a foreigner here and I think that people who live in a place take umbrage to foreigners speaking about their country. But I guess the mistake that I made is, I've been here for five years, and I felt.....

VG: That you live here. You pay rent here. You have a place here.

DD: I do indeed. I pay taxes here.

VG: I guess you want to talk about that too. (both laugh)

DD: I pay for that rain.

VG: No, I think there's a proprietary interest in you. It's the first time that a series filmed in this country has done so well, and has gone so big. And you came here in relative obscurity, and when you leave, because you *will* leave, you take with you tremendous notoriety. And I think people feel attached to you because of that.

DD: Yeah, and I'd like that attachment expressed to me in a different way. Not in hostility. (smiling) But I think what it is, is that the show owes so much to Vancouver, and that is true, and I think by me saying I want to shoot in LA, that's taken to mean that I don't know how much we owe to Vancouver. We've had a great time here.

VG: Why do you think people got so hysterical about it?

DD: I don't know. I was hoping you could tell me.

VG: Well, I just thought it's because we got so attached to you in some curious way. That you belong to us now and you can't go. Tough.

DD: Well....I'll come back and visit (laughing). Well, I actually, and this is going to sound like bull in retrospect, but I actually thought about trying to find my mother a house here.

VG: And move her in here.

DD: Yeah, well to take some of the heat at this point. (laughter people off camera). No, this is actually the kind of climate that she loves. She's from Scotland. And in fact, this is the kind of climate that I enjoy. Again, .....

VG: It's good for the skin, dear.

DD: Oh, it keeps you young.

VG: Look at me I'm 73 (VG is probably in her 40s). It's amazing.

DD: Is that right? You don't look a day over 71.

VG: Not a day over 71. (much guffawing from off-camera) Well, you have a brother don't you?

DD: I do.

VG: He's a film producer?

DD: Ah no, he's a director of commercials. And maybe of features.

VG: Well maybe we could change one for the other.

DD: Maybe he could hire me? Is that what you're trying to say? (smiling)

VG: No, I was thinking he could come up here. As long as the name stays.....

DD: He has been up here. Well, you know it's hard for me to say at this point because it feels like an apology, but I have *loved* this city for four years.....

VG: Okay, okay you're off the hook...grovel, grovel, grov.....

DD: (interrupting) No, no. I refuse to grovel about this. But it happens to be the truth.

VG: Okay, here's the thing. This is the only thing that upset me and it has nothing to do with the weather thing, because I'm with you on this one. It rains all the time--you love it, or you don't love it, and you go away.

DD: Well, you deal with it.

VG: One thing that puzzles me is I asked for you to be on this show, we've been on the air for five weeks now.....

DD: Oh, five whole weeks (in not-so-amused voice)

VG: Well, we did ask and you couldn't see your way to do it. Not you personally, but your age--, or whoever, all those people who surround you.

DD: (smiling) My posse.

VG: Well, then you're on Conan. Then you're on Letterman. Then you're on everything. You're on everything but you won't be on Canadian television. And I'll tell you, that is mildly irritating. And I know you're promoting a movie, that you don't want to talk about and didn't bring any clips, which seems to me a bit extreme....(DD laughs) But , if you are living here, why would you decline to be on this show. No offense, because we have eleven viewers. We've got more than that right now! (much laughter off camera)

DD: Y'know, I should have come on because I don't even have to answer your questions.

VG: You mean, I answer them myself.

DD: Yeah, if I remain silent long enough. (laughing)

VG: You've got my number, have ya?

DD: I think that...I never got a request to be honest with you. I was just telling one of your producers that this is a route that I drive or am driven to work in the morning. And I said, if I'm coming by at 8:30, can I just run out of the car, run up here, and say.....

VG: You could do my weather pitch.

DD: Well, whatever. If it happens to be raining, I can say "I told you so." Or if it's sunny..... (laughter)

VG: You're getting all the laughs here. I don't like this.

DD: Ah well, you know. But wait until, we'll see who gets on the front page though.

VG: It's you and you don't like that apparently.

DD: No, not at all.

VG: You like being on the front page?

DD: No, no, no.

VG: Especially with a guy that's dressed up like a tree. That was another strange thing.

DD: Oh that. I didn't know he was well known here.

VG: Well, how could... you couldn't tell. With the leaves all over his face.

DD: It was like some nightmare out of.....It was like some Wizard of Oz thing. You were there? And you were the Weatherman, or something like that.

VG: I'm going to take a commercial and sell rugs or something

DD: (gives a "shrug" face) It's early.

VG: It's early. David Duchovny. We'll be right back

(pianist plays X-Files theme)

(return: pianist is playing Singing in the Rain. DD, VG chatting. DD gestures and nods at pianist)

VG: Go ahead, You say it.

DD: Alright. Very funny. (to pianist)

VG: Very funny. He was holding his hands over his ears when he started playing the X-Files theme. I guess you don't hear that on the set

DD: Oh no, they play it all the time on the set.

VG: Really?

DD: No.

VG: Oh, how am I supposed to believe anything you say.

DD: Whenever I enter a room, people play that song. Doesn't matter if there's a piano there or not. My mother plays it when I enter the house.

VG: You're very fond of your mother.

DD: Yeah, sure!

VG: Well, you would be. And she's Scottish?

DD: Yeah. Uh-huh.

VG: You could get citizenship.

DD: No, I can't.

VG: You could in Britain.

DD: Well you wanna know the truth. She's not actually born in Scotland. Her family did this incredibly strange thing where they came to America for four years, had three children and moved back.

VG: Does she have an accent?

DD: Oh yeah. She grew up in Scotland.

VG: Can you talk as if you're a Scottish person?

DD: No.

VG: Can you sing?

DD: No. (smiling)

VG: Can you dance.

DD: Mmmm, in my own special way. (both laugh)

VG: Did you go to theatre school?

DD: Noooooo.

VG: Well what the heck did you do with yourself.

DD: I was studying English literature.

VG: You went to Yale?

DD: Yeah, yeah.

VG: And you did an MA but didn't finish your PhD?

DD: Yeah. And I'm going to take all this stuff away and then see how you do (reaching for the files and notes in front of VG) (laughs)

VG: Okay, I'm going to put it all away (shoves folders to one side). What was your spec-i-al-i-tay? Magic and somethineruther......

DD: Yeah, that was just my dissertation. I didn't really have a specialty.

VG: Well what did you think you were going to do with yourself if this hadn't worked out?

DD: I was going to teach and write.

VG: Do you think you might still do that?

DD: I think I might still write. I might teach. I don't know what I would teach at this point.

VG: But do you think you could actually go back to that kind of a life after all this chaos?

DD: Sure. I mean after a while, there has to be some lag time. But I think, yeah.....Are you suggesting something to me? I'm not sure how exactly to take this.

VG: No, I'm not. I am not privy to any information.

DD: Okay.

VG: But you know, long time series actors and actresses sometimes find themselves out of work for a while if they decide to leave the television series

DD: Gee, this is depressing. Um, yeah but that's.....

VG: You have to think about this don't ya?

DD: No. An actor's career is trying to find work. It's just part of your choice when you make that choice.

VG: Have you done a lot of stage work or any?

DD: I've done some. When I first started in NY, some crazy stage stuff in small hole-in-the-wall theatres. with blow-up dolls and stuff like that.

VG: How did you know you were good at this?

DD: It was just a sense. Just a sense that I really wanted to work and wanted to express something. It was never "gawd, I'm good". Just that I felt good doing it, therefore it must be correct in some way.

VG: Did you have people say you were okay?

DD: Yeah, people said I was okay. It wasn't like they held me aloft and said "you're the second coming. thank you for arriving." It takes time to get work. I went for 3 or 4 years without getting any jobs really.

VG: Can you remember that time?

DD: Ppphfft. Oh yeah. That's the painful part. It's like everything negative hurts and everything positive bounces right off (laughing). VG: But that's the part you remember, like bad reviews. You always remember the bad reviews, what did that guy say that for, he must be right.

DD: Oh yeah.

VG: This has hurt you hasn't it. This episode, one joke about weather.

DD: It hurts because it's become personal. They've attacked me personally. They've attacked my wife personally. Even though I know it's still a joke, in some weird way, when someone chooses to focus love on an individual or animosity on an individual it's strange to be the focus. The thing that hurts the most is that I'm banned from No.5 Orange which is where I got my showbiz start. (lots of laughter off-camera)

VG: That's a strip joint. You missed that part?

DD: Oh really? No,no I knew it. I do some good pole work.

VG: You do some what?

DD: Nah, this is getting......

VG: Some good... oh I see. I don't.... girls, females, women who don't work there, don't go there

DD: Yeah, yeah, I know.

VG: You frequent strip joints?

DD: No, no.....no, no, no (looks around in mock panic)

VG: You're burying yourself now. It's getting even worse (laughing) (DD smiling does mock grimace)

VG: On your show, somebody asked me, a gas station guy asked me ask you this question.....

DD: Mmmhmm.

VG: You always work with flashlights on this tv show?

DD: But not during the day.

VG: There always seem to be flashlights.

DD: Well, it's moody. The show's gotta lotta mood.

VG: Do you ever think that people think that you're moody?

DD: Yeah, yeah. People confuse my tv persona with whoever it is when I'm alone.

VG: But if you're well-known, and you have a character that's moody, and you're trying to move through the street trying to duck attention, just move through the crowd anonymously then that also fosters that, doesn't it? I mean, I don't think you can be a "hail-fellow-well-met" all the time.

DD: Well, I'm not that naturally anyway. I'm from NY; we have a different way of greeting people on the street (small laugh)

VG: Which is? (DD rolls eyes upward, waves hand dismissively to demonstrate)

DD: So there's no eye contact. NY is about non-eye contact which is basically how I comport myself in public. But, you try to say hi to some people, but if you're in a bad mood.....

VG: But you're not allowed to be in a bad mood.

DD: Well, if you're in a bad mood that one day then that person says Duchovny's a jerk everyday because he has no other experience of you.

VG: Right. Will you stay here next year or not?

DD: Well, I don't want to because I want to be with my wife, but.....

VG: Whatever happened to women who went with their husbands?

DD: Well, she's a working woman, y'know and they don't shoot sitcoms up here, they only shoot dramas. And by the way, they will continue to shoot dramas after the X-Files goes.

VG: Well, I know, it was "woe is me the whole industry is going to fall apart" because you want to go home and live in Malibu.

DD: (bemused, laughing) How do you know I live in Malibu?

VG: I know everything. Believe me, your life is an open book.

DD: But you know everyone knows...but you know another thing that was insulting about this whole thing was to our crew which is wonderful and works harder than me, they work in the rain. I get to go back to my trailer when it's raining and come out and do five minutes and they are actually out in the rain all day long, and I don't know how they do that. But, um, it's actually a great place to work and I don't want people to lose sight of that, and I don't want that to be ascribed to me. The only reason I'm leaving is because I have a family. I've lived five years here.....

VG: Do you have your wallet with you?

DD: Uh, no I don't. (patting self around waist, pockets)

VG: Do you have a picture of your bride in your wallet?

DD: Uh, no I don't. (sheepishly, laughing) I have a picture of my dog in my wallet. (laughter all around)

VG: Very nice.

DD: Well, you know what the funny thing is, I have one picture of Téa and it was given to her because it was being sold in a shop as a frame. You know how they have somebody's picture in a frame, well it was her picture and somebody bought it.

VG: Oh how funny.

DD: And that's the only picture I have of her. It's actually bought as-is.

VG: So you never even had to bother taking the picture.

DD: No.

VG: See, I thought you'd open your wallet and there you'd have a picture of your bride. But no.

DD: (laughing) Oh alright, I feel like a fool.

VG: (laughing)

DD: Let me see your wallet.

VG: I don't have my wallet. (reaching into jacket pockets) I have Kleenex because I was weeping during the gospel choir. It's gets me everytime that stuff and.....bagpipes. Do they do it to you?

DD: Well, I want at my funeral to have a.....

VG: Your funeral.

DD: Well, I'm a moody guy. (laughter) They have a Scottish tradition where they have a lone bagpiper set faraway on a hill in the mist

VG: Perfect.

DD: Or rain. He's far away, You can just barely make him out and you can hear this lonely sound coming toward the funeral procession and he's way over there. I like that very much.

VG: So you could write that into your will.

DD: I imagine I could.

VG: Well, listen thanks.....

DD: But why is it the first note of a bagpipe (VG, simultaneously: Oh, you're still here.) always sound like a mistake. That first note.....

VG: Have you ever tried to play one?

DD: it goes "braaaah"

VG: You have to get the thing going through it.

DD: Yeah, I know but you always have people laugh when they hear that first note. Then it becomes.....

VG: And then you weep.

DD: It's a lovely sound. (pianist starts playing)

VG: Uh, good-bye.

DD: (looking out into studio) Oh, I gotta go to work. Wow, he's very moody (gesturing at pianist who is playing embellished mournful version of X-F theme again.)

VG: Well thanks very much.

DD: Thank you.

VG: I'm sure that you are now redeemed.

DD: (crossing arms, leaning on counter, shrugs) We'll see.

23 October, 1997. Vicki Gabereau Show (Canada). Transcribed by annie from alt.tv.x-files